a letter to bts — happy 6th anniversary!

on June 13th of 2013, bts were debuting; seven boys with a package full of worries and expectations towards the world outside, but who have decided to hold each other's hands and run through all the barriers to making their biggest dreams become a reality. 

Sometimes I stop to think about how crazy life goes. I believe you do this often, too. I wasn't here to see all the changes and achievements of the group, but I feel extremely proud whenever I notice how far you've come; coming from a small company wasn't easy, and a lot of people had their eyes on you, not to help or support you, but to see you stumble and fall. It was something that maybe got to your hearts and made you wonder if it would ever work, if you'd had to come back home to your old lives as a failure. But I'm so glad you kept going, boys. 

I bet none of you thought that years after you'd be presenting an award at the Grammy's and then, months later, becoming members of the Grammy Recording Academy. Or that you'd have sold out Wembley concerts — something only a few giants of the industry could do. Starting a campaign with Unicef? Breaking The Beatles record? Performing in Brazil, the extreme opposite side of the world? Having the entire earth singing your songs in your native language, the ones you wrote and produced, the ones you took off your chest with passion? And then having NASA to add them into a Mars expedition playlist? 

God, I'm only talking about 2019 and it hasn't even ended yet.

I'm an army for only 10 months, but I don't love you any less or feel any less proud than someone who's been here since 2013. I truly feel like a mommy watching her children grow and walk their own path, collecting success, yet staying humble and having their feet to the ground (even my mom thinks so and jokes about it 'cause whenever I see pictures or videos of you eating and hanging out I go like "eat well, my baby" "take care, darling, have fun" "don't forget to stay hydrated, love". see, I know you're grown ass men and I'm younger than ya'll, but I can't help myself, okay?).

Since I can't tell you all the things I keep in my heart and I'm aware that I'll probably never see you in person, I decided to write to you. I know you won't see this in the ocean of messages you're receiving today, but this is something I've been trying to do for a while and I feel like it's a great opportunity — a beautiful and significant moment for both of us: your 6th anniversary and my first time celebrating with you, my friends, my second family.

to my handsome, kim seokjin

yes, you're handsome. all the features and little details of your face and body gets me mesmerized. the shape of your eyebrows, your cutie nose, the way your eyes are designed, and how your lips form a beautiful pout when you blow up a kiss; your broad elegant shoulders, gracious long legs, beautiful hands and fingers... the list goes on and on. but you're sooo much more than that. 

to be honest, from all the members, you're the one who surprises me the most. back then, as far as I know, you had literally no interest in working with music, but here you are, one of the strongest voices in the industry (I'm serious. I totally mean it!) — powerful yet soft, always stable, clear, touching, full of emotions and passion, something anyone can feel. it's just so good to hear you sing, love, you have no idea! I can see how hard you've worked to overcome your insecurities, to outstand yourself, to show what you're here for. and I'm so proud of you right now I have tears in my eyes.

you're such a gentle and caring soul, always trying to make the boys feel comfortable even when your beautiful ears are about to explode from shyness; taking care of them by the most silent gestures. a respectful, charismatic, smart, and fucking talented man. did you see what I did there? I never swear, but I had to intensify the adjective somehow. fucking ta len ted.

never, never, never doubt yourself. you're an amazing singer and songwriter, an incredible dancer, a true artist and performer. we all love and appreciate you. without you, bts would never be the same or have the same worth. you're important, you're special. keep that in mind, always. I love you.

to my little star, min yoongi

the one who gets what he wants. the one who says things as a joke but eventually ends up making it all come true. "maybe billboard?" yes, honey, here's the billboard. "maybe grammy?" yes, here it is! wanna explain how you do this? nevermind, here's the answer: hard work. staying up late. writing, creating melodies, building it up together, doing and redoing things a million times so it comes up perfectly. but I also know behind all that there's a lot of sacrifices, but those we better keep from the media, from the fans, right? 

you know, yoonie, there's a reason why you're one of my ultimates — I could recognize in your eyes something mine may show, too. my soul identified with yours.

but here I'll just express how grateful I am for your life. seriously, every time I look at you my heart is filled with love. you're an amazing human being and I know sometimes things can get hard for people like us, but trust me when I say life can be beautiful for us too. the little boy who dreamed about the day his music would be taken seriously, the day his life would change for the best, has now become one of the most influential artists of all time. you did it, love, you did it.

thanks to you and the members, millions (literally, millions!) of people have changed the way they see themselves, the way they see life. thanks to your songs, people have found the strength to keep going, to live one more day, one more week. do you understand what it really means? 

you deserve the best things on the earth. I can see how beautiful and pure your soul is, how much love you carry inside your heart. you're always kindhearted, loving, helping your friends to see the best in themselves, you're quiet and reserved, but ready to do whatever it takes to protect the ones you love. and you're so handsome. seriously, I just can't understand how can someone be so physically endearing. and your smile... man, every time you smile 10 years are added to my life. keep doing it. and please, keep this in your heart: you're important, you're valid, you're special. I love you.

to my sunshine, jung hoseok

the nickname above makes complete justice for your aura. where hobi goes, there goes the light. I've never seen you in person, but it's undeniable how your presence changes the whole room. it's something not everybody can do, but you do it; unconsciously, you make people's days better. the way your eyes carry love inside them, the way you pronounce the words in korean, english, or even portuguese, the way your smile scapes from your heart-shaped lips, your gestures, your expressions... oh god, I love you. sorry for the sudden love declaration, but seriously, you never fail to make my heart melt.

and I know you probably hear this a lot, but I have to say it: you were born to be a performer. your stage presence is out of this world!! it just looks so natural, and not because you've been doing this for the past 6 years, but because you were made for that. every little gesture, dance move, every lyric your tongue raps and sings out, everything is just meant to be. there's no other place you'd rather be. that's your spot, your home, like a puzzle being solved every time you step on stage. it's beautiful, really, I love watching you perform. I'm not the only one to see that. what I just wrote is the truth, a fact.

but I also know that it's hard to keep a happy face, right? people sometimes forget you have bad days too, as we all do, that sometimes you don't wanna be your smiley self, that sometimes you're tired, your head's working too much, your body doesn't wanna function the way it should; you're just too nice to show. you're such an amazing person you just want to give us your best every time, 'cause you're grateful, 'cause you think we deserve. but I can tell. and I understand that. but you don't need to overwork yourself, ok?

I know it must be amazing to be one of the members of the most popular group of our generation, but I also know how heavy is that responsibility. always trying to surpass themselves, satisfy the fans, the media, the company, yourselves. that's a lot. that's why I'm saying you don't need to be afraid. you're always saying "I'm your hope, you're my hope", then let us be your hope sometimes. you can rely on us. we'll take care of you. and remember this: you're an amazing human being, a full ball of love who deserves the world. precious! I love you. 

to my moonchild, kim namjoon

kim namjoon, the man you are today...

seriously, take a look at yourself and see how much you've changed, not only physically, but intellectually. it amazes me every time I see how fast time has passed and how you've grown with it. you're the man everyone admires, the man everyone wants to learn from, the man everyone wants to have a chance to talk with, it doesn't matter the topic. sometimes I feel like you don't even understand how intelligent you are. and it seems like you know a bit about everything?? like, you always know what and how and when to speak?? please, let me take you to a coffee shop so we can sit and just chat about life and how it sucks and how it is amazing. 

and, not satisfied with being to smartest ass in town, you have to be so open-minded too? defending minorities, showing respect for every religion, speeching for Unicef, helping people build self-love, self-worth... seriously, you're inspiring! and I'm not saying this just because I'm your fan, I'm saying this because sometimes I feel like you underestimate yourself and your value. you go around saying you're a bad dancer, you're bad at this, you're bad at that... I'm here to open your beautiful eyes to reality.

you're handsome as hell. I mean it. have you ever seen yourself in the mirror? man, I could say you're perfect, but as we know, nobody's perfect, but you could be. seriously. I love every part of your face and body and how it all is built. from your fluffy hair to your beautiful toenails. yes, bitch, even your toenails are pretty. and the fact that you're such a compassionate and humble guy makes you an even more stunning person. please, take all the compliments, you deserve all of them.

to be honest, above it all, you're an inspiration to me, as an artist and as a human being. the way you have been an amazing leader to our boys, a perfect example of someone who has learned with the past and it's working to help people be the better version of themselves too, by showing them how amazing they are the way they are, how their lives matter, how they're important and special. so are you! you deserve all the best things that are happening in your life and my heart aches to see your happiness. there's more to come, my love. keep going. keep doing it. I love you.

to my prince, park jimin

I just wanna ask disney what they're doing instead of calling you to be in one of their movies. seriously, you're the perfect man to star a prince. your alluring features, your graceful presence, your angelical way of being, everything they need for someone to be a prince. you won't even have to act, you just gotta be yourself to have all the princesses and princes falling for you. it would be no surprise since that's what you cause on people: anyone around you can easily fall in love with you (not necessarily in a romantic way, but happens too). and that's why you have so many friends, mini, you make people feel comfortable and loved around you and it's a beautiful thing to have in you. I like to say you're made of love, like, you're love personified.

and it's easy to see it in your work, for example. you put so much emotion in it that's hard not to feel touched. every note of the songs you sing, every word just means so much and have such significance to you that it's impossible for the audience not to get emotional. and every dance move, every expression in your face followed by your body it's just... I don't even have words to explain what I feel when I see you perform. It's beautiful and it's something that comes from your heart. that's why I always keep it craved in mine. 

sometimes I wish you could see yourself through my eyes — the eyes of someone who's been observing you from the perspective of love and respect. I know you're working on it, that you're trying not to be so hard on yourself and I'm proud of that. you're a perfectionist and being a perfectionist too, I can understand where it all comes from. but don't let it get to you. you're an incredible performer and it's something nobody can take away from you. that's the path you were born to be on, so carry on, do your thing and don't be afraid of failing sometimes, it's fine, we learn from it.

mini, you deserve every little thing you're achieving, and please, believe in every word I say. I did my best to get it out of my chest, but I still feel a lot attached to my heart and maybe it'll only get out when I get a chance to hug you. very tight. until you laugh and ask to let go. and please, never forget how amazing and special you are, ok? I love you.

to my piece of art, kim taehyung

I see so many things in you, tae, so many beautiful things! in your eyes, in your lovely boxy smile, in the way you see people and the world around you, in the way you talk about your family and your friends, in the way you talk about us. it's always so loving and from the bottom of your heart. you're truly a gift. seriously, I mean it. your existence is important for so many people, you have no idea. I can see in you an inspiration to live, a positive and somehow pure side of humanity. 

you like art, how funny, being a whole van gogh piece yourself. I love that in you, you know? how you express yourself through fashion, how you hang out taking pictures of beautiful sceneries, getting every detail of the world your beautiful glittery eyes can get, getting inspired and, I imagine, feeling in your heart the urge to go back home and create your own art. I'd love to go out with you. and even more to photograph with you (I'm not as good as you are, but I'm also not so bad at it). 

and, oh, how your voice does things to me. and so does your dance. your movements are so sharp and objective, everything falling in place at the right moment. and the character you put out on stage, I love him. he knows what he's doing. he knows the power he holds and he's not afraid to show it. he likes to please, like to pose, like to be in charge and to be known. god, what a good fucking actor you are. seriously. you're a complete artist. this is what you're meant to do. 

whenever I talk about you a feel a smile grow in my face. I can't help it. I love everything you do and I'm extremely proud to see you discover more about yourself. all the painting, photographing, acting, everything it's just so... you. it's who you are and it's amazing. I love every side, every part of you and I want you to know how worthy you are; how handsome (well, guess I don't have to talk about the title of most beautiful face for 2 years in a row and, let me say, very well deserved), how caring, how lovable, how respectful and how humble you are. please, never forget it. I love you.

to my first love in bts, jungkook

I'd like to say I'm an army and it's your fault. I'm blaming you for making me fall in love, not only with you but also with the six men I just wrote about. I had no intentions to love someone who lives at the other side of the world, but there were you, being your all charming self, with that beautiful round glimmery eyes, a whole velvety hair, beautiful and adorable bunny smile, little dots all over the face and all. I was obsessed. and when I heard you singing for the first time?! it was the end of me. I really tried to but couldn't resist. and it didn't change, I still can't resist your voice.

ggukie, your voice touches me really deeply. whenever I hear you sing, it's like I'm held in place and the only thing I can do is focus on the delicate sound of melodies that comes out of your mouth. I'm not even kidding, it really gets to me in a way I can't really explain, but I feel like my heart is getting a nice massage and I feel so light, so calm. it never fails to help get over an anxiety crisis. guess I can truly say it's one of my favorite sounds ever. 

and it's not the only thing I love about you. I love the fact that you really work hard to be good in everything you do: you're an incredible dancer, a wonderful editor and photographer, a beautiful drawer, good at sports... the list is big and so is my love for you. seriously, I love to watch you do anything, 'cause no matter what it is, it always comes up beautiful. whenever someone asks me if I know someone who's multi-talented, I think of you. 'cause that's what you are.

you left home so early and seeing how much you've grown and the man you're becoming makes me so proud and happy and I can't wait to see what's coming. don't be afraid to take risks if you think it's needed. if you wanna release a mixtape or covers or show us more of your editing, photography or even a new thing, we're here to appreciate and support you. you're an incredible artist and an amazing person. don't ever let people say what you can or can't do, do what makes you happy, what makes your heart full. if you want to let your hair grow, let it grow. if you want to paint your nails, do it. if you want to pierce yourself up and down, then pierce yourself. you deserve to be who you truly are.

you're so young but such an inspiration for so many people! we know you had gone through a lot but the best part is that you never gave up on running after your dreams. then keep going. new things are coming and I'm here to support you! I love you.

that's the cheesy part where I say how much you've helped me and where I start to remember the past and get emotional, so let's be quick: thank you. thank you so much for helping me understand that I am capable, that I can do it, that I am not alone and there's always something good in the corner, even if I don't see it. you guys really made me have more faith in myself and see the 'past me' with more compassionate eyes and see the 'future me' with more patience. my God had taught me that, if living it's too heavy, I can do it day by day, and you guys have been keeping me company on this day by day thing. I'm thankful for your life, for your existence, for your courage to overcome your insecurities and fears — you're inspiring me to do the same.

I wish you a long and happy life. I'll be here to pleasingly watch and support you.

happy anniversary to my biggest inspiration:

BTS 💜